TRDM Di-Jest: LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE
If you are an American and/or a New York Mets fan you have been lied to a goodly number of times. Fortunately that bastion of journalistic integrity, bloggers, exist to set the record straight (Truth be told we bloggers have a form of Hippocratic Oath that reads, "If you feel like writing something take your best shot.")
We recently learned that the Wilpons are in the process of refinancing ("re-fi" in the hip terminology of the banker-sphere) their $250 million loan that was coming due shortly. Instead of repaying that quarter billion that they don't have this year they seem to be getting a deal where they'll pay one dollar a year back for each of the next 250 million years. Sweet.
The result is that the current Mets ownership figures to be in place in perpetuity. This explains the tear stains on my pillow.
During the reveal about the re-fi we learn that the current understanding the Wilpons had with the bankers clearly prevented them from raising the payroll the past few years. And here we all were believing Sandy Alderson's calming words that he was not operating under any preset payroll restrictions. Silly us.
This got me to thinking about some of the other political and Mets-related lies we have been told. So here's a little jaunt down memory lane revisiting some. I'm leaving Chris Christie out of this for now but suspect that if I'd held this essay a few weeks he could be fitting right in.
"I am not a crook!"- President Richard M. Nixon - and yes, boys and girls, he was.
"We have fixed the bullpen during the offseason so that it will be much better than last year's." - Every Mets GM going back to Jody McDonald's dad, Joe McDonald (GM 1974 to 1980).
"Read my lips. No new taxes" -
This one is from President George H.W. Bush, that's the old one who jumps out of airplanes, not the younger one George W. Bush famed for "Mission Accomplished" when it wasn't and Iraq has WMDs which they didn't. We read the lips but got hit with new taxes anyway.
Hard to mention GW Bush without including his line: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job," It turns out that FEMA director Michael Brown was not really doing a heck of a job.
"Every remaining free agent is on our radar." - This is from Alderson. Now is this a real lie or just nonsense words? Does being on one's radar mean anything more than "we know they're available for a price but likely we have no interest in paying that or even a somewhat lower price"?
"I didn't have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky." -
That one is from President Bill Clinton. It always struck me funny how he could pronounce "sexual" in just two syllables. We have since learned what he and "that woman" were up to and if it wasn't sex it certainly was an incredible simulation.
"We anticipate our payroll in 2014 will be as high or higher than it was in 2013." - That's from Sandy also and all indications are that this won't pass the Truthiness test either.
"If you like your present health insurance you can't be made to switch." - That's from the father of Obamacare and I'll assume you know who that is.
"We have every confidence that Ruben can do the job at short." - That's from the current front office too and it strikes me as a bunch of hooey. The truer version of that statement would be: "We know we can't win anything this year even if we bring in a better SS like Stephen Drew so why bother spending the $10 to $13 million to do so."
Fox News: FAIR and BALANCED. In the veracity department that bats oh-for-two, about what we're used to from Ike Davis in the first four or five innings of every game. Now to be forthright I will say that the Mrs. and I watch a lot more of MSNBC whose unofficial motto is: "We're not Fox News". That's less ambitious but you can't quibble with the motto's accuracy.
"We plan to be Moneyball except with money. And we have a three year plan to make the team a continual contender." That was what we were told by Alderson and his deputies Ricciardi and DePodesta. That first sentence reminds me of when George on Seinfeld complained that someone was threatening his "artistic integrity." Jerry replied: "You're not artistic and you have NO integrity." How the front office is operating is totally different from Moneyball and surely is being done without money.
As to the grand plan. The Soviet Union used to have ambitious 5 and 10 year plans. They all came up short and then the entire empire crumbled as the US and its allies sent them into economic oblivion. I've been hoping that the Yankees and Dodgers would send the Wilpons to the same fate but apparently it's not to be.
Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at www.twitter.com/dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.