A few months ago we posted a hypothetical chat transcript between the Di-Jest and interested Mets fans. It was a rousing success! (Of course we probably define success differently than you. Our definition means no significant negative blasts in the COMMENTS section and no libel suits filed)
So let's do another one. And we'll try to hold the Ike Davis Q&A's to a minimum as they seem to upset TRS.
from Beans: What are you hearing about Lucas Duda this offseason?
DiJ- Our sources tell us that big Lucas has been diligently spending time in a batting cage near his home. Onlookers are fascinated to see this giant hulk of a man swinging at about one or two servings from the machine out of every dozen. Sounds to me like he's in midseason form.
from Ted Pontiff: I read someone online saying that my Orioles are about as good as your Mets. Who should be more ashamed?
DiJ- Both teams' owners.
from Curious in Omaha: You've written that you don't think the Mets will sign Stephen Drew. Why is that?
DiJ- Two reasons: #1 because he'd really help and #2 because he'll cost money.
from Stratomaticus: When it's all said and done what do you think GM Alderson will get out of this Ike Davis affair?
DiJ- An ulcer.
from Whiz Kid in Manhattan: I know you root for some other New York teams. Which team in another sport is most like the Mets?
DiJ- I'd have to give it to the New York J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets. Their signing of Mark Sanchez to a big money deal only to see him crash and burn had Jason Bay written all over it. I'd say the Giants are not much like the Mets. After their disappointing season their owner, Mr. Mara, came out to the press to express his feelings and committment to making the team better ASAP. That does not seem like a very Jeff or Fred Wilponish thing to do.
And I guess we can say that former Met Jordany Valdespin had a bit of JR Smith in him (except minus the talent).
from Slugger Mike: Will David Wright ever regret signing his long term deal with the Amazins?
DiJ- That depends. If his goal is to play on the big stage for a championship then I think he will. If he is happy being the Ernie Banks of New York City then he won't.
from EY FAN: Eric Young Jr. has to be in the lineup as the leadoff batter, right?
DiJ- If you think that a lifetime on base percentage of .325 makes you a leadoff guy then right. Most teams are looking for OBPs more like .360 and Mr.Young is not going to give you that.
from Professor Adams: What promotion would you like to see at CitiField this year?
DiJ- A winning team.
from Optometric Optimist: Don't you have anything positive to say about the 2014 New York Mets?
DiJ- Sure. They haven't lost a game yet.
from Mitt Fan: You never mention Jon Niese. What are your thoughts on him?
DiJ- Niese guys finish last.
DiJ- Thanks for the questions. Obviously it's a slow time for the Metsies. Here's hoping something newsworthy and positive happens with our favorite. But who am I kidding?
Larry writes a humor column for us at The Real Dirty Mets Blog once or more per week. You can follow Larry on Twitter at @dr4sight There he comments on the teams that drive him crazy: the Mets, both NY football teams, the NY Rangers, and the Knicks.