Last night was the start of TNA’s big ECW Invasion angle.
Excuse me, let me rephrase that:
Last night was the start of TNA’s version of the big ECW Invasion angle that WWE already did in 1996...and 2001...and 2005...and 2006.
I can’t stomach TNA. It’s infuriating. They trick me into watching them with great matches like the ones had recently by Beer Money and The Motor City Machine Guns. They give would-be also-rans like the Pope and Matt Morgan the time and opportunity to actually develop interesting and entertaining personalities. They let me look at Velvet Sky and Angelina Love on a weekly basis. The problem is that they do these things to me during the inconsequential segments of an otherwise wholly unwatchable TV show.
Last night’s “Invasion” was a joke and just another example of the fact that the goons “running” TNA (into the ground wocka wocka) are totally out of their depth. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff have no business running a wrestling company until they can learn to check their egos and their history at the door. Dixie Carter has no business running a wrestling company until she’s actually learned something about the business that wasn’t told to her by her pals backstage. And Vince Russo has no business writing a grocery list, let alone a television show.
For the last 7 months TNA has been building their entire existence on the pasts of different wrestling companies that did it better. It started with Val Venis and the Nasty Boys. Then they pushed a WWE Hall of Fame ring above the TNA title. They turned Abyss into Hulk Hogan, AJ Styles into Ric Flair, and Jay Lethal from Randy Savage into another Ric Flair. Most recently they had Flair come on TV and say that he was re-forming the 4 Horsemen, but of course they can’t call it that so now it’s “4tune” (I’ll bet you my kidney that’s how they spell it).
Now their latest stroke of genius is to recreate ECW. Yuck.
According to the story, TNA got the idea for this angle after holding a focus group with some of their fans. When asked what their favorite time in the wrestling business was, the fans responded “ECW.” Fair enough. I’d probably respond in the same way. I loved ECW, but here’s where TNA shows its ineptitude:
A smart company would take that answer and analyze it to death. They would ask themselves what it was about ECW that fans loved so much. Was it the intimate atmosphere? The fan interactivity? The in-ring action? The compelling storylines? They would take these answers and then think of ways that they can use the brand and product that they’ve developed on their own to model their company in a similar, but at the same time different and innovative manner.
Here’s what TNA did:
“Oh wow! You guys liked...E..Z..or sorry C? ECW? That’s awesome! Thanks. Listen, do any of these ECW guys still wrestle? Oh they already work for us?!?! Even better!! Vince, Dixie, re-do ECW. That’s what the cast members like.”
The fact that TNA would even hold a focus group to ask fans what they like is hilarious and completely indicative of their cluelessness. TNA, let me tell you a little secret: You already hold focus groups every time you put on a show, and it’s a huge group. It’s called your live audience. They come into the Impact Zone and tell you whether or not they like the product you’re presenting. If you had a clue you would know this and you would plan your product accordingly. That’s how the wrestling business works, always has. There is no need to corral 10 of those people into a room and ask them what they thought was better than what you just showed them.
As for the “Invasion” itself, as I said before, it was a joke. It started with Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Stevie Richards, and Rhino saving the TNA Champion, Rob Van Dam from an attack by Abyss, which then led to a hodgepodge collection of the TNA roster running down to attack the “Former ECW 4.” Why?
What did those 4 guys do to warrant a defensive act like a roster retaliation? The ECW 4 came to the aide of the TNA CHAMPION, the one guy who above all others represents the company. They saved him from an attack by Abyss, the unstoppable monster who’s been running roughshod over TNA for the last month. Nobody is supposed to like Abyss. So why would Jay Lethal and Brian Kendrick come out to help him?
Then even more former ECW guys like Al Snow, D-Von Dudley, and fat Simon Diamond ran out to help the ECW 4 and Rob Van Dam, which brought out more TNA guys like Desmond Wolfe, fat D-Lo Brown and a befuddled Jeff Jarrett...and the cops. WHHYYYYYY?
What did these Invaders actually do? NOTHING! They beat up the top heel in the company in an effort to save the face of the company, and that makes them evil outsiders?
The ensuing brawl was a pointless mess. The ring was too filled with bodies to see what was actually happening, and the shots were too quick to focus on one specific detail. The only thing telling you that the ECW guys were uniting to fight off TNA was the incoherent yelling of Taz and that little toad Mike Tenay. Of course, they’re the worst announce team in the business so all you could hear was, “OH MY GODDD....AL SNOW....KENDRICK...TOMAYTAH.”
Oh I forgot, at some point Mick Foley came out and watched.
Then, as the final “shock” of the show, Dixie Carter and her awful cocker spaniel haircut got on a mic and said, “I invited them.” This led to confused looks from Jeff Jarrett, the TNA defenders, and Al Snow...who was apparently one of the guys who was “invited.”
I think I feel a tumor growing just from re-capping this garbage.
Along with any and all logic, the other thing that TNA forgot to include in this invasion...was invaders. As it stands the rebel ECW group is Tommy Dreamer, Raven, Rhino, Stevie Richards, D-Von Dudley, Al Snow, Simon Diamond, Mick Foley, and Rob Van Dam. Except for Dreamer, every single one of these guys has already been working for TNA for at least 6 months. The 2nd newest one is RVD but he’s the f’n champion! They’re not outsiders. They’re not invading anything. They’re employees. They’re just going to work.
TNA, remember WWE’s big ECW/WCW Invasion? Remember how it failed miserably? It’s because the invading force was nothing more than a bunch of mid-carders who couldn’t get over. Then they started taking every heel in the company and putting them into the Alliance, including Steve Austin and Kurt Angle. By the end of it, the Alliance was 2/3rds WWE guys and 1/3rd invading jobbers.
TNA’s version of an Invasion is, from the very start, 2/3rds TNA guys and 1/3rd Tommy Dreamer.
Good luck with it TNA.
Maybe you should hold another focus group to find out how to get a clue.
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