Claimer: Hey, I know this isnt fresh blogging. Ive been utmost busy & for this sensitive material I have wanted to be sure about my choices & my words.

This nation approaches a 50th anniversary celebration of the historic Dr Martin Luther King 'I Have A Dream' speech rousing wisdom & courage to end racism. This sports nation is also on the peripheries of a mere, concert-trash, uneducated white man exploding a vulgar racial rant. The latter doesn't compare to the former in historic volume, however, the latter wafted some serious heat. The latter chafed the N word. Mistake with consequences.
I'm not even gonna spell it out here, but yes I've spoken aloud that N word. Guilt precedes confession. I am white, from a rural state, and honestly didnt even know what racial tension was until possibly my mid-teens. My father was a rough-round-the-edges farmer. Cursing was mainstream. The N was frequent. I didn't think it was funny. I don't know where he was exposed to it, himself. Maybe serving in the Army. Likely the term was generationally passed down. Fault to the generations prior who I never knew.
I refused to engage the white-popular degrading word. Admittedly, while younger, I didn't grasp how harmful the white tongue could be, yet I knew it wasn't helpful toward uniting races.
Here's an experience which strengthened my dismay of white man joking. I was older than my cousin by a few years. He was talented at basketball and played at a Div1 university. I visited him to take in a home game his senior year and we planned I would stay overnight and party with his teammates, a few who shared an apartment with him. Good times, fun guys. The partying was almost over and maybe should've been even earlier. Some joking surprised me. My white cousin called his black teammate/housemate/close friend a N. And they laughed. And I lost my control. I grabbed my cousin by the mouth and said in front of a handful of mixed-raced men, "You don't ever use that word, dont ever call anyone that." Awkwardly, I had a household of men suddenly stunned by my action and I argued with the man he spoke to. I was told I was wrong to act like that and he was okay being called N. I guess it would've been a tolerent environment if I hadn't been there. I was indeed inebriated, but there was a need for me to correct a white man while defending a black man. Just weird that it wasn't accepted. By any of them.
I remember, confess, & apologize for the times I have co-joked & recited the infamous line from Blazing Saddles 'the Sheriff is near.' That disguised humor (Mel Brooks actor/director) had me cornered for a few years until I realized his degree of raunch. Again, funny to some, painful to others.
What baffles me, though, is this uniquely-sided coin where black people toss the word around amongst themselves. Hey, this is when I know for sure that something isn't any of my business. I don't know if these uses are proper and I don't even know if my blog is proper!
Really, the joke should be exhausted by now. The brutal abuse of racism verbage hasn't lost its popularity & sting. It's sad. I'm not one to lead a movement of many, like the icon Dr ML King. I am one to lead my own mission & my own son & family to never speak a particular word. Sticks n names n stones may break bones, but racial harmony & love will never hurt. God Bless our tongues & temperaments. Let's get this straight, soon.

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