Whether it's Space Jam's aliens or the "Mean Machine" pictured above in Adam Sandler's "The Longest Yard" we've all seen jokes or movies, or whatever about teams of mean players. Here at FVF we decided it was high time to put together a real "Mean Team" of NFL convicts. Okay, they're not all convicts, but they're all active players or recent players who have all at least been arrested, and many have been found guilty. I'll give you our roster, complete with their position and crime. You tell us what you think:
(I have included the team names of a few guys who might not be recognizable to the average fan)
Starter: Michael Vick-These days probably the most notorious professional athlete/criminal, Vick starts for our all criminal team at quarterback after pleading guilty and doing time for a variety of federal dog-fighting violations in 2007.
Backup: Vince Young will back up Vick after being arrested for assault at a Dallas night club in 2010.
Starter: Adrian Peterson-Last July Peterson ran afoul with the law when he was charged with resisting arrest at a Houston night club. Interestingly, I don't think I ever heard what they were trying to arrest him for, so the resisting arrest trumped whatever the original charge would have been it seems...
Backup:Marshawn Lynch-arrested on a felony gun charge in California in 2009, Lynch eventually plead it down to a misdemeanor with 3 years probation.
3rd Down Back: Kevin Faulk-why not take the best third down back perhaps in the history of the league? After pleading guilty to marijuana possession in Louisiana in Feburary of 2008 he makes the cut.
Vonta Leach-The best FB in the business (to many) makes the cut here after being arrested for simple assault in July of 2009.
1: Brandon Marshall-arrested many times for domestic violence in one form or another.
2: Vincent Jackson-Driving on suspended license and with no registration in 2010.
3: Plaxico Burress-famously shot himself in the leg after leaving a NY night club while attempting to hold a gun in his sweatpants.
4: Kenny Britt-makes the list for repeated foolishness; made false statements on a driver's license application, resisting arrest, car chase with police, possession of marijuana, and a criminal complaint for "theft by deception".
Aaron Hernandez-Hernandez represents the most recent crime you'll see on this list, having been arrested this morning for the murder of 27 year old Odin Lloyd, whose body was found last week about 1/2 mile from Hernandez's house. Additionally he is being sued for shooting someone in the face in Florida, and his name was mentioned in two recent police reports in Providence, RI tying him to altercations there.
Fred Davis-This guy makes the list as a repeat offender. He has been arrested at least 3 times for apparently being the worst driver in the league. For three charges ranging from driving way too fast, reckless driving, and driving without a license throughout the offseason of 2008 he's paid fines up to $5,000 and lost his license multiple times.
LT: Jason Peters (Eagles)-resisted arrest after being pulled over for loud music coming from his car.
LG: Eric Steinbach (Bengals)-Boating under the influence in the Ohio River in 2006. (This is my favorite one I think, lol)
C: Jeremy Newberry (SF)-allegedly hit a woman during a fight on a boat on Lake Berryessa in May of 2002.
RG: Jeremy Bridges (Panthers)-2 charges of assault and battery at a restaurant in 2008
RT: Bryant McKinnie (-Aggravated battery, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest following a brawl outside a Miami nightclub in 2008
DE: John Abraham-two counts of obstruction for interfering with firefighters.
DE: Jared Allen-DUI, Kansas City, 2006.
DT: Albert Haynesworth-Arrested for sexual abuse after fondling the breast of a strange woman in a Washington restaurant in 2011.
DT: Nick Fairley- DUI and Marijuana possession in Mobile, AL both in the 2012 off-season.
(Fun sidenote-Haynesworth and Fairley are also my starting DT's in my franchise on Madden. Anyway...)
LB (four starters, two backups)
1: Aldon Smith-DUI in Miami in January of 2012.
2: Elvis Dumervil-allegedly assaulted a parking attendant outside Invesco stadium in 2010.
3: Jon Beason-aggravated assault at a strip club in November 2009.
4: Jon Vilma- Resisting arrest and reckless driving in Miami in 2009.
5: Lance Briggs- Leaving the scene of an accident in 2007.
6: Ray Lewis- Arrested and charged with murder in January of 2000, eventually plead guilty to obstruction of justice.
1: Adam "Pacman" Jones-not particularly great, but GREAT at getting arrested. Arrested for pretty much everything you can think of, almost always involving some kind of club.
2: Leon Hall- DUI April 2009, plead guilty and paid a fine
3: Joseph Jefferson-Carrying a firearm, DUI, DUI, all in 2003 and 2004.
4: Charles Woodson-Drunk driving in 2000.
Lawyer Milloy-DWI, 2008.
Cody Grimm-2 public intoxications in the last two months alone. Just put him in for "stupid arrest" representative.
Sebastian Janikowski-2 charges each of DUI and assault. Assaults were dropped, DUI was plead out.
Todd Sauerbrun-DWI and speeding in 2004, Assault in 2007. Plead all charges out.
I think I'll have
Dez Bryant-misdemeanor family violence charge
Pacman Jones-everything listed above