Kirk Bohls' bologna has a first name, it's B-I-G-T-E-N. In his editorial for The Statesman, he assures his readers that all this Texas to the Big Ten talk is just a bunch of hooey.I'll put this as succinctly as possible: Texas isn't joining the Big Ten. No way, no how. So put down your Ohio State pompoms and that JoePa pennant.That straightforward enough?The possibility that the Longhorns could be enticed to join the oldest conference in the nation was raised again by recent out-of-state blogs quoting anonymous sources.Don't pack your parka for Madison and Ann Arbor quite yet.I've been assured by higher-ups at Texas that this is nothing more than a wishlist on the Big Ten's part. As one school official said, "We're the good-looking girl at the dance." Another even higher up the food...

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