There are races where I look back through the field and look for that black No. 3. I look for him to cut his way through the field and somehow make his way to the front. I know that Dale Earnhardt, Sr. passed and that this day dream will not happen again but in some ways it is comforting. That fateful day 10 years ago I sat on my couch watching the season get kicked off; my favorite driver Jeff Gordon wasn’t having the day I had hoped. Michael Waltrip and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. were up front as the laps were winding down and I was looking forward to the next race. I remember the call, I remember the replays and I remember waiting for Earnhardt to get out of his car. I kept screaming; “get out of the car!” When FOX had to pull away I quickly went to the next source for information and that was the internet. I scoured the internet for information and then those words came across my screen.
I was numb. I didn’t move and I didn’t speak. I didn’t cry. I just stared at the screen wondering this can’t be happening, they always get out of the car.
I felt like I had felt just few years earlier after I lost both my grandparents. I had turned to NASCAR to get me through that time. Now what?
My mom saw it on the news and came over by me and told me how sorry she was. I started to cry and I couldn’t control it. I felt like I lost a friend. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just cried. I cried for his family, his team, the competitors, his fans and for the sport. I knew in that moment that NASCAR would never be the same; I would never be the same.
I wasn’t sure I could watch ever again. I wasn’t sure if I could handle the loss of another driver. During the week of memorials and commentary, I kept wondering if I could watch the race.
Every crash would be different, every hit would be breath taking and every moment after I would be nervous.
I had for so long imagined my asphalt heroes as invincible. They were untouchable that in a battle of the drivers versus moveable force-the drivers always win.
I recently was talking with my mom about the anniversary and my mom reminded me what she told me that race day.
“I told you, you can’t be afraid of what could happen. Nothing in life is planned or guaranteed. You can’t control the bad as much as you can control the good. You just have to keep on keeping on; because your driver never gave in to fear and you can’t.”
I watched that race that day and haven’t looked back since.
Since that day NASCAR has changed also. We have seen development of safety features that have saved drivers lives since we lost Earnhardt.
Gordon’s head on collision at Las Vegas Motor Speedway in 2008 saw LVMS add safer barriers installed on the inside of the track.
After Pocono last June, the track announced changes to the track after drivers complained about a wreck that saw Kasey Kahne nearly land outside the track.
NASCAR is constantly moving and constantly looking to be safer for the drivers and the fans.
It’s hard to imagine it has been 10 years. The sport has changed, the drivers have changed and I have changed.
The Daytona 500 will always be a reminder of what we lost February 18, 2001 but also a reminder of how far we have come.
Photo: cbssports.com
Written by:
