Disclaimer: In this article, you will find some material that may offend you. The possible offenders may be and are not limited to, foul language, hairpieces and most horrifying of all, common sense.  You have been warned but take this as the kind of warning that you get from your father when you’re caught in bed with your girlfriend, the kind where you’re in trouble but not really. Way to go, champ.




As a fan of Major League Baseball, I believe that us, the fans, have “seen it all” when it comes to what can happen in the world of Baseball. Performance enhancing drugs, legendary Game Seven’s, Marge Schott, players suing the league as a whole, Roseanne’s performance in San Diego, you name it, we have most likely seen it go down. I mean, seriously, we’ve seen a fucking squirrel change the course of a postseason game and do it twice, once in Anaheim and again in St. Louis. David Eckstein aside, baseball is what it is because it’s the most “human” of all sports, there’s a direct comparison from life to the beautiful game and there’s nothing quite like it.


At the very core of every event in baseball, all of this is part of history because that’s what history is. It’s a collection of what has happened, good or bad. You can’t just erase a part of history, it simply doesn’t work like that, unless you’re Michael Vick because it seems like everyone has forgot about that. Baseball is not full of great people, people who aren’t racists, cheats, drug addicts, because contrary to popular ESPN belief, these are people we’re talking about. Still, these people, as long as you didn’t take a needle to your ass, they still get in the Hall of Fame and it’s forgotten about, since… Well… I have no goddamn clue why.

Today, the big news is the “controversy” that Miami Herald columnist Dan Le Batard gave his vote away to the readers of Deadspin.com and boy let me tell you, the Jell-O has been flying around the retirement home. Many columnists around the country have denounced Le Batard, saying he has made a mockery of the Hall of Fame, that this is all for attention and that the fans shouldn’t have a voice, as these writers have “earned it”. Frankly, Mr. Shankly, that’s the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard in my life and I’ve had to listen to Bob Costas for years. Trust me, I know bullshit when I see it and it’s usually wearing a hairpiece.

Dan Le Batard did not make a mockery of the Hall of Fame, he took a stand against the mockery that the Hall has been for years now, due to the BBWAA being generally, a collection of pompous, degenerate assholes whose biggest decision they’ve made relating to baseball in the last twenty years being the kind of ice cream they want with their ten dollar mini helmet sundae. If Le Batard had sold his vote to Deadspin just because he could, I could understand where the hate and scalding remarks would come from, but I’d still call you a dumbass, a moron who is more afraid of change than a drunk guy dressed up as a Coinstar machine on Halloween. Le Batard took a stand because the rest of the BBWAA (the majority, mind you) have taken a group mentality as to the whole voting process, their view that it’s fair because so many people vote each year and they deserve it.

You know who grouped along in packs and generally made hypocritical assholes in High School?

That’s right, a bunch of spoiled and out of touch bitches.

The real mockery has been stewing for quite a long time, due to the “stands” that a lot of voters have taken on several positions. Steroids when it comes to Barry Bonds/Roger Clemons/ETC., Lying when it comes to both of those guys and more, the missionary position when it comes to Mike Piazza, I could go on. It can be lumped in with the general consensus of these idiots when they say that Le Batard did this all for attention, you’re trying to act holier than thou and stand up for the illuminati group you go to every year at Denny’s, as if you won’t get a whipped cream smiley face on your high fructose corn syrup pancakes anymore.

Give me a break, YOU are the reason the Hall of Fame is a joke and now, there’s less attention on who gets inducted and more on the writers. There’s the guy who didn’t vote for anyone, the guy only voted for Jack Morris, the tapeworms who didn’t vote for Greg Maddux (Whoever didn’t vote for Greg Maddux, I will meet you after school, on the grass and I will beat your ass. You do not deserve to watch baseball, play baseball or live life without a gimp mask on) and whoever voted for Jacque Jones.

To make the situation even better, Bob Costas was quoted as saying fans shouldn’t vote for the Hall of Fame because they would “vote for their favorites”.

Of fucking course they’d vote for their favorites, that’s what voters do. If they like them and they like their stats and they think they’ve got a nice mustache and they most likely punch women and all these sorts of things, these archaic assholes might just throw you a bone and vote for you. This is also most likely how Mitt Romney felt each time he got someone’s vote. “Oh you little petulant maggot, yes, vote for me. You should feel so privileged to vote for me. My hair is made of spray painted cinder block.”

Come on, you could not get more pompous and out of touch if you were Scrooge McDuck. I can understand that you’ve worked at your profession and deserve something (which you do, you make money off of forming characters and letters out of each fart your body unfortunately exhales) but that doesn’t make you qualified in any shape, sort, way or idea. Hawk Harrelson is proof of this, he’s been around for ages yet he is still a plebeian of the highest order and you can put that shit on the board, yes. This is not a country club, this is the Hall of Fame, the Hall of Fame that wouldn’t be here if we weren’t. We all deserve a little something too, I’ve had to listen to Joe Buck for fucking years, man.

Basically, I think I speak for most baseball fans when I say, give me a fucking break, Baseball Writers Association of America. Don’t punish a man who is taking a stand against your collection of idiots fucking up what should be the greatest time of the year, a time where we can cherish those who made baseball wonderful, punish the people who are really ruining your game, yourselves.

Also, let Pete Rose in, you morons.