Hello, my name is Mike Trout. Not really.
You may have heard of me on such television programs such as Angels Baseball, the MLB All-Star Game and the yet to be televised program "2014 Los Angeles Angels Championship Team" DVD extravaganza. I play for the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and no, I am not made out of money, my owner is.
Tonight, I was relaxing at my household abode in New Jersey when the MLB Network requested that I get on satellite to see my adoring fans who were hoping to see me win the American League MVP award. I was cautious after 2012, I will be honest. In 2012, I thought I had a very decent chance of winning the award, seeing as I was the most valuable player in the entire league, let alone the American League. Still, Miguel Cabrera's power statistics had me worrying, like Hellen Keller playing Battleship. With that stress added onto my daily regimen of pulling boats with one arm and eating Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki®™ sandwiches to fuel my daily life improving aesthetics, I had my doubts on whether I would go on television just to lose an award that really, I deserved to win. I took my sandwich, my boat and my pride onto nationally televised TV and once again, I came in second place in the voting to Miguel Cabrera.
Don't get me wrong, I respect Miguel Cabrera and let's be honest, Miggy could hit a golfball with a crazy straw. This isn't on Cabrera, this is on the Baseball Writers Association of America voters, who are stuck in their old ways. Enron was stuck in their ways for a long time and look what happened there, guys. It's not that I don't appreciate the second place votes, I truly do and it's an honor, but as Aristotle once said "we've been robbed, son". Today, BBWAA voters, consider yourself in sabermetrics class.
In 2012, where this all started, one of the biggest arguments to why I didn't deserve the MVP award was the amount of games that I played in. I played in 139 games. In 2013, Miguel Cabrera played in only 148 games. That's a measly nine game difference and I had to hear how it's hard to vote for me but with Cabrera, not a single word was said? In my professional opinion, I believe the voters were smoking that endo, gamecube nintendo. Some of the voters have said that I don't have enough power, I was second in the AL in Extra Base Hits with 75. Miguel wasn't first, he was fourth with 71, even though he hits a lot of home runs. It's not like I don't hit a lot of home runs, I had 27, which was good for fourteenth, even though I had wonderful defensive prowess (you should see me dive in volleyball, gotta work on that tan) and a lot of stolen bases.
Speaking of stolen, I have a hard time imagining why I didn't win the MVP award this season or in 2012. Are the voters pecatarians and only like seeing fish related people/animals see pain or perhaps they are atheists and just have something against the Angels?
This feels like when my grandfather tells me that the woman I need in my life will be blonde haired, drive a red corvette and will always be in the kitchen. Don't get me wrong, I love my grandpa and he's great but times change and with new statistics, some awards need to take that into consideration. It's almost like WAR doesn't matter to you folks, seeing as my WAR level was 10.4 (better than 2012) and Miggy's was 7.6. We are not in the battle for normandy, we are in a day & age that sees Major League Baseball embrace technology and new methods of thinking, why can't you at least consider WAR?
I understand the cautiousness about the WAR statistic but times change. If you look at other professional sports leagues, there used to not be a three point line in the NBA. Once upon a time, you couldn't go for two points after a touchdown in the NFL. A long time ago, I wasn't the best player in baseball, let alone the American League, however hard it may be to remember such a time. To remind you of what I do, please view the video below.
Fairly impressive, is it not?
In comparison, to me, it is only fair that we give Miguel Cabrera his time to shine in this letter as well. Please view the video below, if you would.
Okay, okay, that's from 2007 and when Miggy was on the then Florida Marlins.
Still, I feel a little frustrated that this keeps happening when really, I believe I have deserved the award in 2012 and in 2013. The biggest argument that the writers made about why they voted for Cabrera over myself is that his team made the playoffs and my Halos didn't. That isn't right and I shouldn't be judged for that. Let's look at a little comparison and see why my team couldn't have won, even if we had Miguel Cabrera too.
Joe Blanton or Max Scherzer
Jerome Williams or Justin Verlander
I rest my case. This is an individual award, not a team award. The Angels didn't have a single lick of pitching all season and the Detroit Tigers had two of their starting pitchers finish in the top five for Cy Young voting, with Scherzer actually winning the thing. This isn't fair and I shouldn't be judged for Joe Blanton deciding he would rather fall asleep in a puddle of pancake syrup at Waffle House instead of helping me try to win us some games.
I understand the rationale, just like how I understand that my grandmother DVR's "Murder She Wrote". I don't get it, I don't believe most people do but that one person, they have their own set collection of ideals and well, there's a reason why people took Sarah Palin seriously. In 2014, I will focus on winning a World Series championship for my Angels and hopefully, if all works out, I'll win the MVP award for the first time. Knowing my luck, I'll lose it to Yuniesky Betancourt after he hits sixty home runs with a .186 batting AVG.