Michael DeNicola

 

I don't typically write a lot about NHL News that doesn't focus primarily around the Orange & Black, but this story was just too good to pass up. 

Winnipeg's defensive star, Dustin Buf... bifff... byf???.... NotGonnaWorkHereAnymore was arrested last night in Hennepin County, Minnesota for "Boating While Intoxicated". 

Alright, so the guy put back some beers with his bro'skis while fishing and cat calling the skinny dipping sorority students. So what? Could happen to any of us. None of us are perfect, and I know for damn sure most of you (the readers) enjoy celebrating and/or enjoying an evening suckin' back on granpa's old cough medicine. 

But that's not entirely the story I'm aiming at here....

 

Dustin Byfuglien -- who was listed at 257 pounds throughout the 2010-11 season -- was booked overnight weighing a grand total of 286 pounds. 

This isn't the middle of summer. We're weeks away from training camp, and Big Buff's gonna strut into the locker room resembling a 45 year old Charles Barkley

"Because he's black, Mike?" No, because he's fat, dipshit. 

 

I'm not one to throw stones, though. Lord knows I spent a great deal of my collegiate tenure overweight from too much partying, 1:00am pizza pie and swearing off light beer before I stepped on campus. 

And perhaps Byfuglien's the type of guy gifted with an ability to drop more weight than Mischa Barton on an all-weekend long cocaine binge. So when he's skating his pudgy ass up and down the ice throughout training camp, he'll enter the regular season as the stone wall we all remember him to be

(sorry about that flash from our disappointing past)