This week was supposed to be dedicated to hyping up an event that needs no such virtue. Life doesn't stop for your plans though, so yet again, we take a break from Royal Rumble coverage to bring a news story. This one is incredibly tough though.
While the name is not familiar, the tale is all too common. Shawn McGrath, who wrestled under the name "Badseed" Shawn Osbourne in WWE Developmental from 2006-2008, died yesterday at his own hand. Yet another wrestling tragedy? Not quite, as this story caught my eye for a much different reason.
Normally (and I hate saying that as wrestling deaths are all too common), when a wrestler is found dead, it is often due to a heart condition or overdose, both stemming from the use of legal and illegal drugs. The lifestyle takes a toll on many men and women, and all too often, these people do not even make it to 50. While McGrath passed at age 34, his story is quite different. This is a man who took his own life in a calculated fashion.
It might seem odd for me to cover this story when McGrath's fame is quite limited, and I wasn't going to until today. That's when I caught wind of his suicide note making it's way through internet circles. This lengthy note that McGrath submitted to Stacy Carter (Miss Kitty or The Kat to WWE fans) among a few others, is both revealing and chilling. It is blunt and substantial, breaking down all the happenings in this young man's life and everything leading up to this decision that he says was "made up a while ago".
I'm no expert on suicide notes, but this one doesn't seem to be typical in nature. As I said, it's almost a venting tool for part of it, a last request document in another part, final thoughts to individuals in another, and reasoning throughout.
What I found most intriguing was that although there were motives such as heartache, depression, and shoddy relationships, McGrath speaks of the decision as also a result of "having accomplished everything I want to in life". Though just 34, this is a man that saw no value in getting old and following a path that will never be as fulfilling as what has come already.
It is truly an unbelievable read and while some have already complained that the posting of this note is unethical and disrespectful, this is probably the most insight any of us have ever gotten into the mind of a depressed wrestler. This mindset is all too common in the community, but it's not as common when a wrestler goes so far as to take his own life.
I am going to post a link to the suicide note below. If you have the stomach for it, I recommend that you read it. It's a very interesting insight into a man that clearly was in a terrible frame of mind.
The last thing I want to mention is that McGrath goes out of his way in this note to talk about being drug-free. I suppose that some choose to medicate their depression with drugs and alcohol, but this man chose death. To be honest, I'm not sure which is better. Still, I close this article by saying that MouthoftheSouthShore.com wishes its sincere condolences and best wishes to the McGrath family and Mr. McGrath's friends and former colleagues. I'm sure this is a very difficult time and I honestly hope that the revelations revealed in this note lead us to understand the mindset of people better and maybe, just maybe, save a few lives.
http://www.ewrestlingnews.com/headlines/Ex-FCW_Talent_Star_Posts_Suicide_Note_-_Read_.php
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